Asses and hot air

Anal retentive photo taking pays off. I know where every wire is located. And instructions on how they should install the venting system. I'm paying someone to figure out all this crap, why can't they do this?


Edges squared off. Still still so much to do.


Nothing's happening... it's still looking the same.

Fish oil

Propane grill back online. Paper wrapped snapper.


Delicious ripe heirloom tomatos from the backyard. Fresh mozzarella, basil chiffonade, and olive oil. Mmmmm...

In and out, and in and out

Cool chopstick tray in the dishwasher. OK, it's actually a cutlery tray. But perfect for washing chopsticks. And the dishwasher is so quiet that I don't even notice it's on. The old dishwasher I could hear from the pool. But I'd miss the old dishwasher- especially the undocumented "feature" whereby it blows warm moist air into the crotch area when you stand in front of it while chopping vegatables.


Bringing back the contents of my kitchen. All of this fit into my little car in one trip. I have amazing car packing skills.


I spent the entire morning scraping every square inch of the counter top with a razor blade, then polishing it with microfiber cloths. So I'm craving calories with all the anal retentive effort expended. Two Double Doubles. (Quadruple Quadruples?) Fries well done. Chocolate milk shake.


And I mounted the bathroom cabinet. I nearly broke both the cabinet and the wall with my overpowered power drill. But it's such a manly power tool. I can handle it.

Floating in limbo

1/8 installed range. Still unclear when this will be working. Crapola. Electrical isn't finished. And the venting system is sorely in need to be started. No ducting, no power, nada. But at least the stove is out of the box. The gas line is hooked up, but no electricity means no working stove. All that new fangled computer brains inside modern stoves with their electronic ignitions and safety measures. Phooey. All this gadgetry, and I'm no better than lighting some wood in the oven.


German faucet. Built like a tank. Will last a lifetime. Handle mounted on the left side for my lefty inclinations. And finally, after much cussing from the plumber, the dishwasher is in. German brand, American made.



American instant hot water dispenser and garbage disposer. I got all anal retentive and ordered a black water dispenser because having a satin nickel finish on the dispensor will not match the stainless steel faucet. Even though 98.7% of the general population won't be able to tell the difference. But I can.


Lack of air conditioning requires me spending a lot of time floating in the middle of the pool. It's freakin' hot. And so am I, in my new magenta pool lounger.

Finally sinking in

Finally, kitchen sink is out of the box after all these months and in place. Should be big enough to wash cookie sheets and young children. If I take up yoga, I might be able to use the sink as a tub myself. Sadly, it's currently all for show. No water or drains yet.


Harvest time. Yummy yummy yummy. Still no working kitchen sink, so I can't cook with tomatos.

Counter intelligence

Still waiting. Moving things around shouldn't count as progress. This is so stupid.

Counter culture

Caesarstone quartz countertops showed up. The pattern is called Oyster. Still in pieces. Sheesh. slow... Is it just me, or is just showing up to the job site with materials kind of underwhelming?


But the pool is officially open. The algae lab experiment in the backyard has been purged and disinfected. Hooray, since the AC is nowhere close to being operational.

Harry Potter sucks donkeys

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince sucks donkeys.

Obelisks and phalluses

The Venetian. It's exactly like Venice. Except for the 112 degree temperature. The sun burned fat white people. A gazillion cars and taxis. And Madame Tousaud's wax museum. Just like I remembered Italy.


Can you say, "teeny tiny penis?"

Hunka hunka burnin' love

The loving couple. Slightly delayed because Elvis was late due to flat tire.


Delicious Thai food. Burnin' the more delicate tongues of white people. So good that I still dream about the shrimp dish. Thumbs up on the wine selection. The one from Argentina had a couple of llama necking on the label.


Burnin' food. This time literally. The Flaming Ribs of Targ. Dinner reception at Quark's restuarant in Star Trek: the Experience. It's so nerdy.


Our loving couple, happily assimilated into the collective. So so nerdy.


A hunk. It's scary that Wayne and I have the same hair.

Hot dog flavoured water

Driving to Las Vegas. 115 degrees outside in the desert. Hot. Nothing but Hot for miles and miles and miles around.


Today, you will learn that if you freeze a bottle of Arrowhead water, the trip from Los Angeles to Las Vegas is just enough time for the water to melt into a dildo. You'll never find this useless bit of trivia on Jeopardy.

Lights, camera, action

Surprise! I discovered the first of the Paul Robeson tomatos. So delicious and unexpected. Didn't expect of of these to be ripe just yet. It's all multi-colored inside. Like a tie dyed shirt.


Lights on! It's been so long that the electricians forgot what switches go with what lights.


Bunny teeth on lighting fixtures.

Lab rats and cheese

Light fixtures installed correctly. Fed up with tripping over boxes of stuff that I've started to install all the various accoutrements myself. Adjustable mirror, finally mounted on the wall. I can see myself now. One box down. This one's been sitting there 5 months.


Moved some furniture into the bathroom. For assorted bath jams and jellies. It's misleading because I really don't have that many personal care items. Most of the things in this cabinet is still kitchen overflow. I mean, really, I still have a third left from the small bottle of shampoo I bought last May. Oh. And new towel bars. Any excuse to use power tools.


And I've reclaimed part of my bedroom. The Manly leather chair and ottoman is now complete again.


Sofa back downstairs, slipcovers all washed and clean of construction dust. I've forgotten how snuggably snoogly the sofa is.


9 months, and I've conditioned myself to go into the guest room for food and drink. I still find myself going to the guest room when hungry or thirsty. I must unlearn this behavior. I'm nothing more than a lab rat to somebody.


But here it is. In it's proper place. A bit forlorn from the trip, but resting now. Awaiting tasty morsels.

Lightning round

Light! Well, ok, not really. Doesn't work yet. And the electricians installed them upside down. I'm in the midst of righting them again. No droopy lighting allowed. Droopy things in bathroom make me sad.


Shiny happy light. For illuminating the action figure blister pack that is my shower. I feel like a GI Joe action figure when I shower. Well, a naked action figure that is.