Cocoa ruff

This morning, munching on a bowl of Cocoa Puffs while preparing Preston's breakfast, I realized...

Shattered tastes

My water broke.



The best part of making Freedom Onion Soup is using the hot bowl lifty gadget thing. Other than that, I realized that I don't reallly like Freedom Onion Soup.



Home made banana ice cream. It tastes just like a real banana. Other than that, I realized that I like artificially flavored banana ice cream better.

Bowled over

This pool is too small for the floating lounge chair. When can I visit Uncle Davy?



In the mood for roast chicken again. This time co-roasted with yukon gold potatos. Rosemarily goodness. I ate half the chicken for lunch.



Attempting sticky buns today. It's a good excuse to use the candy thermometer to make the sugar goo. Please oh please oh please let the sticky buns be edible.



Cross your fingers, maybe this time it'll turn out ok. I scoured every envelope of yeast at the grocery store looking for the latest expiration date. I think I picked up a good batch of yeast- ones without erectile dysfunction.



Woo hoo! Fluffy inside! Oooey goooey gazillion calorie pistachio sticky buns. The sugar goo makes it good. It's edible! It's edible!



Use five bowls, when one suffice.
I had to run, dishwasher thrice.
Chinatown store, with so cheap price.
Grab more bowls, don't think twice.
Even more bowls, to make the rice.
No mocking comments, please be nice.



Mmmmm... pork...



And radish cucumber salad. Because I like chopping things as much as I like bowls. I don't understand why I don't weigh 200lbs. I eat enough food for somebody thrice my size.



Preston wants to eat pork too.

Tearful heart

Wah! Why did Mom and Dad make me wear this stupid hat?



Resorting to some familiar standbys after my multiple failed efforts at baking. Bah! Damn ye Baking Gods!



Pasta warms the soul. Sometimes I think that inside this doughy exterior beats the heart of an Italian. A cholestrol saturated heart of an Italian. This is farmer's market swiss chard. I miss my mutant swiss chard.



The beginnings of French Onion Soup. My eyes! Crying like I was on a Mexican soap opera.

My humps

I'm so hopeless. This is supposed to be brioche. Damn ugly lumps these turned out to be. Aie ya! At least these are edible. Hideously ugly to behold, but taste correct. Phooey! Nothing like Fergie's lovely lady lumps.

Temperatures rising

Hannah's watching CNN and yelling at the sorry state this country is in.



Caprese salad. I spent 5 minutes picking out the perfect orange heirloom tomato at the farmer's market over the weekend. I seem to be buying a lot of orange things lately. But it bums me out that I'm not harvesting my own tomatos this year. My vegatable garden committed suicide during the insane heat wave last month.



And tomato pesto focaccia. With truffle oil. Thin thin thin slices. I burned the roof of my mouth because I was too impatient.



We will try to make brioche this week. I think I have a bad batch of yeast. It has trouble rising. I'm diagnosing erectile dysfunction. But I doubt the pharmacy will dispense viagra or cialis for making dough rise. This whole sucking at baking thing is making me angry.

Challah-back girl

Harumph! Who put lemon juice on my pacifier!



Let's try this baking thing again. I WILL master this baking thing. Challah. Mayhaps a Jewish God will shine upon me and bless me with baking skills.



Looks kind of fishy, but not gefilte fishy. I am such a failure. But at least edible this time. (Yes, I did use a digital meat thermometer to bake bread.)



I started to make gazpacho for supper. Somehow, I wound up with carne asada with pico di gallo instead. I have no clue how I wound up with tacos when I tried to make soup. Maybe this is why I'm such a horrible baker. Harumph!

Swirlies

Looks decent. Flavor is correct. But texture is somewhere between pound cake and chewing gum. Ick! Into the compost bin this goes.

Oh ye merciless Baking Gods! I tremble before thee. Why have thee forsaken me?

Doh! re: me

It bothers me that I am a horrible baker. I must master baking.



Dough ball looks kind of pallid. Like it's been sick and hasn't been outside in the sun for ages.



Oh lordy! This does not look good. Now it's got leprosy. Damn ye Baking Gods! Damn ye!



Rise! I command thee! Rise!



I have angered the leper bread. The leper bread must now cool off.

Oompa loompas

New toy arrived at the door step. It's very orange.



Whirrr... The little orange keebler elves inside the new toy work their magic.



Peanut butter cookies magically appear.

The vapors

Hannah doing her very best impression of Mickey Rooney playing Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany's. She already has the slanty eyes, now she just needs her buck teeth and bad Japanese accent to come in.



Chicken with 42 cloves of garlic. Two whole cloves better than chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. There are no vampires here tonight. And I will not be kissing anyone in the near future, so I will have to entertain me all by myself.



Costa Rica coffee ice cream. Creamy.

Scone'd

Made cream scones for breakfast. I ate too many and felt bloated.



Made Costa Rica coffee ice cream from monkey seeing vacation. It would have been more authentic had I used Costa Rican dairy cows and sugar canes, but we make do in this country.



Dude... that's some wicked ganja. I'm so hungry right now, man... Turn that light down... Dude...



Pan seared sea scallops. With avocado tomato plum salsa. I ate too much and felt bloated.



Chili lime 21/25 shrimp. With stir fry basil. I ate too much and felt bloated. Basil used as a vegetable, not a condiment!



Tomato crispy foccacia. I ate too much and felt bloated.



Dinner and Nintendo poolside, by the fire pit. Clear night, no mosquitos. Good resting from today's drunken gardening.

Stubborn sheep

Today's culinary adventures take us to North Africa. Grilled leg of lamb- marinated with rosemary, garlic, and assorted spices I don't remember. And Morrocan spiced cous cous with pistachios and garbanzo beans. I love saying "gar-ban-zo!" A nice reward for all that time consuming work trying to give Preston a bath. Aie, with the way he acts, you'd think dog baths were part of the Spanish Inquisition.

Go fig

Henie's house again tonight. I shall invent a dessert for her. Figgy logs. Figs with honey port wine reduction wrapped in phyllo dough. The ultimate fig newton. Take that Nabisco!