Shelved no more

Cranberry nut muffins. I ate half of these in one sitting. Now I'm wondering if I should get the muffin tins that make just the crunchy tops. Muffin tops are so much better than muffin bottoms.



Reorganizing the living room.



The shelves that sparked all this manly work on the house have finally arrived. Darn it, that was a long time.



And I am way behind in my magazine reading. I may just dump them all in the recycling bin and start fresh. Kind of like declaring bankrupcy.

Poor taste

Ugly cars redux.



I found a pot to make into a fountain! It weighs a ton, but I am freakishly strong for my size.



My obsession with mangosteens was sorely disappointed by Trader Joe's freeze dried mangosteen. It had no taste, and had the texture of Lucky Charms "mar-bits." Could this really be what many in the world dub the tastiest thing in the world? The Queen of all fruits? I am so disappointed. And yet, my quest to eat a fresh ripe mangosteen has not subsided.

Like a phoenix

The world's best gravy deserves another fresh batch of mashed potatoes to polish off. So good that it's hard to believe it came from the lowly turkey and not some magical mythical bird- like Big Bird.



Finally time to put the oven on self-clean. All the schmutz vaporized, and it smelled like hell the entire night. Though, I'm almost certain that it's not supposed to catch fire.

Gobble gobble

Tile sculptures finally framed and hung. With my new favorite thing in the world- Gorilla Glue.



Open doors to vent out the bachelor smell before my guests arrive for this year's Orphan Thanksgiving Potluck.



Key lime pie, with home made crust- not Keebler. And no-knead New York Times bread.



Having way too much fun doing an imitation of Julia Child fisting a turkey.



Amy #1 brought Poggy over to visit. Poggy and Preston were more interested in the turkey than each other.



This year's turkey looked like a giant Peking duck. The secret is the two sticks of butter I slathered onto the skin.



And ANDREW finally shows up with that elusive girlfriend that we thought was imaginary.



This year's Thanksgiving orphans eating way too much food.



Food coma ensues.



And that was before Davy's pumpkin cheesecake.

Blights on humanity

Ugly cars.



Lady in front of me bought over 100lbs of turkey. I'd hate to be at that family reunion.



Clean sink. Finally.

Let there be light, shhhh...

The holy Mecca of assorted tape products. The hardware store is my new place of worship.



Institutional sized Jello packs. This must be where they buy the Jello used for Jello wrestling.



The barn doors now sport flip up door stops. Just like at elementary school!



And I created storage in the shed up high for things like 2x4's and long pipes.



I even found the esoteric 3 holed metal light switch covers Nancy's been looking for.



And I installed a legally questionable light over the sink. After which I quickly realized that I really really need to clean the sink.

Scraping by

I managed to find the elusive ice scraper in sunny Southern California. $1.50. There must be a server that tracks inventory somewhere that is absolutely confused. I had to brush off an inch of dust off of the ice scraper.



Attempting to tame the lion's mane of wires behind my entertainment set up.



Most wires now concealed in the guest closet behind the wall or under the $30 IKEA shelf. Neater in the front, though it's still a mess in the closet. I shall deal with that another day. Note the Nintendo Wii sized space left on the shelf.




And I planted a jillion spring bulbs along the driveways. Manly spring bulbs like daffodils.

Safe arbor

Safely ensconced in baby seat. Limited range of motion encourages future couch potato behavior. Maybe this is why we have such an obesity problem in this country. It's the baby seats!



And I cleared part of the jungle and plopped in a cedar arbor. Smells nice. Which is good for this area because Preston likes to poop around here.

Petrified squirrels

I found petrified squirrels in my search for the perfect giant pot to make a fountain out of.

Happy Birthday to Me! Yay!

Thirst quencher

I went to Costco to buy Gatorade. I came home with a 46 inch flat panel television. And I forgot to get the Gatorade. The TV barely fit into my car. This is even worse than when I went to Target for toilet paper, and came home with a Nintendo64, sans toilet paper of course.



Holy dwarfism Batman! I justify this as a birthday gift to myself. I really should cancel my Costco membership, but I still need to get Gatorade.

Electrical manicure

I am so grokking over the purple wallpaper I found under the wall switch. I love this stuff.



I couldn't leave well enough alone with the timer project and decided to rewire the entire circuit and expand. There are switches and zones for Xmas lights and wiring for a future fountain. Manly wiring. And all the visible screwheads are oriented in the same direction.



Outlet for when I want to work on a laptop in the front courtyard. A manly outlet.



And timer and switch controlled outlets. I chipped a nail putting these in.

Baby not dead

Absolutely awesome lucite chandelier at the banquet hall for Hannah's Red Egg and Ginger party. Which is the traditional Chinese "Baby is not dead" Party.



Red eggs. And pickled vegatables (with ginger.) The significance of both are kind of lost now. And celebrating Baby Not Dead is kind of an anachronism these days. Still. Outdated traditions are cool when they involve gorging on massive quantities of food.



And even better with roast Babe. The pigs are not celebrating Red Egg and Ginger today.



Future pork lover.



I managed to crack open the egg, eat the insides, and put the shell back together. My talents were sadly unrecognized at this party.

Eating ass

The best thing about Hannah's house is that I find things like Drs. Foster & Smith Triple Strength Dis-Taste. Stops stool eating. Makes feces unpalatable. The picture on the label looks like a Preston puppy. But Preston doesn't eat poo. Preston does make that guilty look all the time though.



And Boudreaux's Butt Paste.



And I was simultaneously intrigued and appalled at the chocolate fountain we saw at the A.I.D.S. benefit art auction that Meridith and Bruce took me to. Nobody used the toothpicks or tongs provided. Yuck! And there were a lot of paintings of penises. And a vagina puppet.



And a peeing bear lithograph at the Thirsty Bear Restaurant.