Chop chop

I was going to call and see if they had small pox or ebola virus instead of the plague.



Hair all gone. It looks like a guinea pig.



Lollypop tree. This grapefruit violates 2 rules of survival in the backyard. 1- it is not delicious. 2- it is not particularly pretty.



Mulch to be.



Pink mulch to be.



And future firewood.

Cold scions

The instructions do not tell me what to do if my room temperature IS 52 degrees F/11 degrees C.



When cheap-ass Chinese parents buy you an expensive handheld vacuum cleaner, I think it's a passive aggressive message to tell me to clean my house. Thanks Mom!



I must stop buying fruiting plants. Today's bounty includes passion fruit vines, and 3 varieties of grapes.

Winded

Trapped in the house. Giant tree blocking the driveway.



Ginormous winds blew a jillion leaves and twigs into the pool. And four cardboard boxes, and three flowerpots.



And the arbor fell over. Thank goodness John Denver is dead, he'd be heartbroken.



And we lost the section of the fence between me and Professor Higgins.



The carnage continues in the front where giant branches crashed down. Thank goodness the car was parked on the other driveway.



And my farming obsession continues where I picked up raspberry bushes, asparagi tubers, and a coconut tree at the hardware store, where the entire L.A. basin was looking for fence parts.

Blimey

Ikea sells a shagedelic round Austin Powers bed. Oh behave!



I wheeled around panda baby in the shopping cart seat. Nobody batted an eye. Notice that all of today's purchases are black and white in color.



Went nuts at the hardware store. Fruit trees! Yes! I will soon have my own farm outside my back yard.



A buried treasure I unearthed while digging around the fountain area. Hide-a-key fake rock from eons ago. None of these keys work in any of the current doors.



Jalepeno lime chicken and potatos. Because I just trimmed the lime tree.

Menagerie

Preston is not liking those Rose Bowl jet fighters flying overhead. He's seeking comfort from Squirrel, Honky, Skunk, and Hedgehog.

Panda express

Inspired by the articles I read today about people donating their bamboo to feed the Atlanta Zoo pandas, I decided to harvest my own bamboo and make panda dinners. I hope they come and visit. Maybe I'll FedEx these to Atlanta.

Scent marking

Lavendar of many varieties. It'll smell like old lady when it all grows in. Which is a slight improvement from dog smell.



I changed my mind. The kiwi and the arbor are better located here. So I moved them.



And the bananas go where the arbor used to be. I hope I don't move them. I'm going to have to get some monkeys to help me pick bananas.

Tender breasts

The guest room finally gets a real phone jack. No more phone cords to trip over on the way to the bathroom.



I couldn't resist making coca cola chicken. Tasted vaguely teriyaki. Not as good as Davy's normal roast chickens, but better than the stuff at cheap Japanese restaurants.



Booby bear keychain found at the Chinese grocery store. She loves your keys with her enormous humps.

Porcine obesity

The feast of many meats begins.



Slabs of meat.



And the piece de resistance... coca cola ham. I found the recipe for ham brined in 6 liters of coca cola. I had to make it. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to find a fresh ham these days. And I used Shasta instead because it was on sale for 99 cents per 3 liter bottle.

Driving dogs

For Xmas, Hannah got her first car from Mommy and Daddy. She loves to drive.



So in the future, she can find prime beef and Chinese food on the way to visit Uncle Davy.



Where Uncle Davy will use the Octodog to make her octopus shaped hot dogs.

What's that smell

Hannah is making sure her nose is clean before she goes to church to be baptised.



Preston wants someone to check if his nose is clean too.



Disturbing poster of kitties with pushed in noses. Hanging in one of Hannah's church hallways.



I made a stinky. I'm so embarassed.

Christmas goose

Honky has finally lost it's legs. I think Preston is trying to help prepare Xmas dinner. There's exists an entire bucketful of legless armless squeaky critters. That Preston, such a brutal killer.



Preston's favorite part of Interstate 5 is the stretch of stinky cows. He's completely mesmorized by the stinky cows.



I've been using old maps as wrapping paper for years, but this is the first time I've actually wrapped gifts with old maps in the car at a rest stop. It's very appropriate.

Bamboozled

Bamboo flour everywhere! I'm going to sweep these up and make cookies for the pandas in San Diego.



Holy crap. Why the hell did I decide to put the planks on the diagonal? Considering I'm the one who placed out of calculus in college AND aced linear algebra AND have off the charts spacial recognition skills, this is really really hard. All those nightmarish angles... eeee...



All finished. So tired. I had to finish the whole floor once I opened the can of goo. I have goo stuck to my hands and hair, and other places where I touched myself. But it's gorgeous. So pretty.



Christmas risotto and squash. This dish was invented because of the colors. Tasted pretty good too.



I want my stinky carpet back.

Stinky bitches

My furniture came a day early. Too busy to deal with it. They stay in boxes for now. I must finish the floors in time.



Securing cable and telephone wires. Whoever installed the cable last must have been smoking something, they took the long way around three walls and two doorways. There's a more elegant shorter way through the closet.



The floors get a coat of waterproofing epoxy. With Xylene! The entire downstairs smells like those now illegal markers I used to use in school. They may be bad for me, but, dammit, those markers worked great.



Preston is really pissed at having his room ruined. He's seeking comfort from Squirrel and Honky instead of me.